The Kings Glen and Kings Park Student Services and Counseling Offices have provided some insight in practicing positive discipline.  Here are some bullet points from their presentation on January 26, 2017.

 

Normal Development

Age	Developmental Issues	Challenging Behaviors
5-10	Developing conscience, empathy Still egocentric Peers becoming important Family still central Focused on equity and fairness Enjoys groups, clubs, teams	Acting out Testing limits Lying Name calling Bad language

 

Age	Developmental Issues	Challenging Behaviors
10-13	Hormonal changes Self-conscious Fitting in with peers Asserting independence Developing talents, strengths	Moodiness Challenges to authority Imitating peers

 

Recommended read on the topic of children, ages 4-14, in the classroom: Yardsticks, by Chip Wood

Responsive Classroom book which our teachers here at Kings Park uses.  Comprehensive  user-friendly reference

that offers clear descriptions of children’s development. 

This book chunks the ages with specific developmental milestones.  

   

Reasons Why Children Misbehave

▶Need time to learn coping skills and strategies to deal with their emotions.

▶Feel rejected or upset .

▶Don’t know the rules, limits or boundaries.

▶Trying to get attention.

▶Avoidance of unpreferred tasks.

 

Misconception of Behaviors

Misbehavior VS. Developmental Behavior

Often times children behaviors are conceived as misbehavior when it should be referred to as developmental behaviors. 

Young children are often curious and often get into “trouble” when trying to find things out. 

They may also present accidents, which often times are frowned upon as though it is intentional misbehavior.

▶Curiosity

▶Accidents

▶Lacking individual needs

Discipline VS. Punishment

Discipline	Punishment
To teach or to follow the teachings of another	To inflict penalty or pain
Teaches children rules	Exercises power over child
Preventive	Reactive
Develops self control	Demands obedience

 

 

Effects of Positive Discipline

Children learn:

▶Responsibility

▶Self-Discipline

▶Cooperation

▶Self-regulation

▶Boundaries

▶Respect for others

Families become:

▶Harmonious and build a sense of team

▶Develop mutual respect

 

 

Positive Discipline Guidelines

▶Maintain your authority calmly and consistently (kind and firm).

▶Give children safe limits they can understand.

▶Use natural and logical consequences when children break rules.

▶Set a good example.

 

Natural Consequences

▶Natural consequences are the results that naturally occur from a child’s behavior without the parent doing anything.

not eating breakfast is. . .	getting hungry before lunch.
oversleeping on a school day is. . .	being late for school.
not bringing a coat…	being cold.

 

Logical Consequences

▶Are logically connected to the misbehavior.

▶Are intended to teach responsible behavior.

▶Are administered in a firm and calm manner.

▶Mistakes are perceived as an exciting opportunity to learn.

Child draws on the wall	Must clean the wall by themselves
Child does not wear their helmet	Bike is taken away

 

 

Recommended read on effective discipline for children 2-12 is  1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan 

       

 The 1-2-3 Magic Method

1 – Warning: After the child misbehaves, say, “That’s a one.”

2 – Warning: If misbehavior does not stop, say, “That’s a two.”

3 – Time Out: If misbehavior still does not stop, say. “That’s a three. Time Out.”

 

 

Encouraging Words and Actions

As we continue to encourage our child to do the right thing, we should remember that the things we could are

genuine and free!  No out of pocket expense when we see our children making the right choices...try these:

▶“You must be proud of yourself”

▶“Way to go”

▶“You tried really hard”

▶“Great effort”

▶Ask the child how they felt they did

 

▶Give a hug

▶Smile when they enter the room

▶Spend special one-on-one time

 

The way we talk to our children is just as important as the words we say.

Develop attitudes of:

▶Encouragement

▶Understanding

▶Respect

 

▶Ask yourself:

◦“Is what I am doing encouraging or discouraging?”

◦“Am I blaming or being respectful?”

◦“Does my child know I understand his/her feelings and needs or am I only considering my own?”